On kids and gamer rage
“Don’t let your kids play video games.”
You hear that a lot when you are parenting - even when you don’t ask for advice.
You didn’t ask for this advice from me, but if you’re reading this I’m going to pretend you did.
First, let me start off with a “I walked in the snow backwards to school barefoot” statement. I started gaming in the 80’s. That was last century. We had some lines and a dot moving around and we thought it was awesome.
When the internet first came out I was super geeked out with a computer my Dad got me instead of the stereo I wanted for my high school graduation. (Thank you, Dad. I was the only person not waiting in line at the computer lab to print off my last-minute paper for class.)
This computer had an external modem - some of you might have to Google what that is - and no graphics.
That’s right, zero pictures.
If you wanted to send someone a photo you had to do it like this:
That took a lot of time. You had to really mean it.
So… let’s just say I’ve seen video games grow up.
But perhaps more importantly, I’ve seen kids and grown adults act - and react - to video games with and without the imagery of violence in them. With and without special effects. With and without more than one button on a joystick.
The type of video game that can incite rage is not just based on how graphic the imagery is, it’s also based on how the game structure itself is designed.
Zelda, for example, is incredibly detailed in graphics. You can almost feel the grass whipping your legs as your character runs across the plains. But because you have many save points, and falling off the tower (again) brings you back to the bottom of the hill where you can run up and try again, the rage factor is low.
Video games where, after hours and hours of grueling play, your character suddenly dies because of one small mistake or some feature you didn’t know know about can incite someone into a rage. “Unfair!” or “NooOOOoOoOo!”
And there are the video games where you can work for hours and someone on your virtual team can make a small mistake and all of your characters die. Hmm.
The point is this: if your child is having rage problems with a video game, try to think about it this way:
“This video game seems to be causing a problem for you.”
The word “this” is important.
It allows you - the parent - and they - the kid, depending on their age - to consider why that particular game or platform may be problematic for them.
This is why “for you” is also important. Some people may be able to play that same game at that very age and feel fine.
By not globalizing video games in general, or smashing everyone’s experience into a singular idea, you may be able to understand more your child’s relationship with gaming in general vs a particular game or a game style.
This allows you - and more importantly them - to think critically about the topic which leads to more thinking skills down the road when the kid is an adult, you aren’t around to take the iPad away, and they have a smartphone in their hand.